One Step At A Time

You just never truly know what you can accomplish until you take a 'determined' first step. As much as I love all of the 'laws of attraction' that have grow quickly out of 'The Secret', without action, wishing something true may be a bit of a stretch....in most cases.

This past week I have witnessed determination. As I wrote last week, Offie was in a grave state. Out of no where he could not move. I was very close to 'give up' mode as I watched him. It was ripping my heart a part thinking 'I' had to decide his fate. On the advice of my friend Nancy, a holistic vet, I asked him what he wanted.....then I watched as he struggled to roll to his tummy, to sit, to stand, to walk and to come running off balance, towards me yesterday. I can hardly believe how he has built his strength and co-ordination back so quickly.

It turns out that he has a degenerating disc problem due to old age. Something triggered something and the bruising/inflammation caused swelling that rendered him almost motionless.

He never gave up. He pushed and is pushing himself every day to improve and regain his strength and self-control. I am running around like a frightened mommy trying to get him to be careful. I am afraid he could re injure himself prior to fulling recovering. His idea of slowing down occurs when I turn out the lights at bed time.

And what does this have to do with www.Realisticselfdefenseforwomen.com ?? Good question!
It makes me think of a woman, years ago. She attended a fundraiser I was donating my time to raise money for leukemia research. It was at the end of the night and I had a drill organized where each woman had to go down the middle of the group- all the women had pads and would be pushing.

The first woman looked at me and said she could not do it. I asked why and she said she did not think she was strong enough to fight back to protect herself. I asked her if she had children. She did. I asked if she would fight for her children. She said "Yes". I made a few more comments about her kids to spark her emotions and we watched her energy change from a women exhibiting low self-esteem to one of strength and determination.

I was at the far end of the group of, 40 plus, women and as she approached me she grew stronger and stronger through her fatigue. I held no pads to protect myself. As she turned to finish me off I stepped back and held up my hands up to surrender. One step at a time, in twenty feet, she realized that she could accomplish much more than she had thought.

Imagine if we all believed in ourselves beyond thinking, beyond knowing, beyond doubt. You see, I think Offie has accomplished what he has because he saw no obstacles, no limitations. He only knows what he can do, therefore he goes for it every step.

OFFIE

Other thoughts.

It has been difficult to concentrate on writing another RSDFW blog since my sweet Yorkie, suddenly feel ill, with what we suspect to be a stroke, this past weekend.

It brings to mind another type of awareness. The awareness to appreciate what we have. The innocence and magnificence of this little creature's life and soul will forever be remembered within my heart and spirit. I could not be more aware of his every move right now, as well as all the special moments we have shared.

He is still here, he is a fighter! Yesterday morning he struggled to move to get comfortable. After his visit to the vet we left with little hope and some very difficult decisions. I laid with him all day massaging him and telling him it was okay to go if it was his time, yet he could stay as well. He does not seem to be in any pain. I called a naturalistic vet friend in Vegas to ask her advice. She said, "Ask him, he will tell you".

So I laid down and put him on my chest. I began asking him what he wanted. "You have to tell me, show me that you want to stay. What do you want". He was still. I thought he was saying it was time to go. My eyes were wet all day. Then his other mommy came and he lifted his head. He licked her hand for half an hour as we talked about the position we were in. Out of no where he lifted himself up a little. He ate one piece of food at a time. He drank some water from a spoon. I remember my original martial arts teacher saying to me "Never say die." At least never give up until you are completely empty.

We took him back to the vet at the end of the day to have one more 'look-over'. He was a little stronger. She had to help him pee. He had a restful night and today at work he was very alert and even tried to stand and move around, but can not. It is too soon to know if that is possible. He can sort of sit up. I helped him move around a little and took him outside where he, on the 4th outing attempted and actually peed!! I was so excited. I have never hoped for a pee so much in my entire life. I will never give him trouble for peeing in the wrong spot again!!

He has made me even more aware of how much I treasure his company. We are praying for a full recovery....he will tell us what he needs, when he needs it. He's 14 years old and has had a darn good life...just months before she passed, my dear friend Becky said "I'm not afraid to die, I'm just not ready yet"...I am feeling that way about my puppy.

I would like some more time for him to share all that he has to share. Empty your cup my little grasshopper, before you begin your next journey.

Why Realistic Self Defense For Women?

Why did I create this thing I call RSD?

It all started when I felt I wasn't skilled enough to get out of a few holds. Mainly floor pins. I set up an instructor-via a strong peer, and he couldn't break the hold either. I decided self defense classes were not going to work for everyone every time. I wanted to create a simple system that an average woman could utilize. The more experimenting I did the more I realized that we need to learn how to evolve our natural defensive reactions into counter attacking actions. If you naturally bite, bite. If you kick, learn how to do that more effectively. Don't change your first natural reaction because it will cause a pause; critical lost time to save yourself. Don't let someone tell you how to react. When you are terrified you will do it your way anyway. Stay basis, basic in terms of what you physically implement. This system is meant for those who do not want to spend years learning the more complicated techniques.

However, keep in mind that self protection really starts with your decisions way before you are in a compromising situation. Most violence, unfortunately occurs within the framework of those we know-domestic abuse and date rape leading the pack. How do we all reduce these crimes?

Talk and get educated for a start. Don't keep your 'stuff' in the closet. Don't accept that you are a target.

My vision is that we will bring so much attention to violence and injustice against women, on a world wide scale, that one day there won't be a need to learn the physical skills to fight back. Through education understanding and acceptance we can more beyond violence.

What do you think?

Self-Protection 101 Cell Phones

Cell phones can be your friend or your enemy. Not to mention they can pop popcorn!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEb6-wGcjtI&feature=related
(I use my phone only when I absolutely need to)!

When you are 'out and about' and feel uncomfortable/unsafe call a friend/family. Tell them where you are and keep them on the line until you relocate to a safer location. Never hesitate to call 911 if you feel you are in danger. Have 911 programed into your phone, especially at home, so you only have to hit one button to receive help. (Being on the phone, as you are watching anyone who makes you uncomfortable, may be a deterrent for them to approach you).

It may sound like common sense, but keep your cells charged. I once found myself in a place where I thought I might need assistance due to car troubles, and I realized that my cell did not have any charge left on it. I only use mine for emergence's and had it in the glove compartment. Fortunately, I made it home and did not need the phone.

Cell phones can be real distraction. As awareness is critical in self-protection, I always challenge my students to open up their vision whenever they place a cell to their head. Never drive and use a cell at the same time. It is impossible to focus on driving 100% when you are on the phone.
Keep your head up and remain aware of your surroundings when you are on the phone.

Have a great weekend!

deb
www.realisticselfdefenseforwomen.com

A New Journey

Good Friday afternoon!

I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has visited this blog, and those who will. I have made a commitment to myself to write more and this blog is a part of that journey.

I really appreciate your suggestions and the comments that you have sent to me via e-mail.

Please feel free to leave comments on this site as well-click 'comments' just below each blog to do that.

Also, please click to the left of this and add your name to my followers list.

Have an amazing weekend!

PS. My book "What Is Your Teenage Daughter Afraid Of?" is available on my website at
www.realisticselfdefenseforwomen.com

Self Defense 101

The tip of the night-short and sweet:

Prepare your car for a break down. How many cars have you seen broken down along the road lately? I saw three today.

-If you have a cell, have it with you and charged.
-Ensure that your spare is inflated.
-Have a candle and matches (put the matches in a plastic bag-to keep dry) and sit the candle upright-(it will probably melt in the summer like mine did). A candle produces heat and light!
-Have a blanket and extra clothing.
-ALWAYS keep your tank at least 1/4 full, especially when you don't know the area.
-A container to collect water.
-Water.
-Tools to service your car-even if you don't have a clue how to use them ie. a jack. If you do not know how to change a tire-learn! (Or bring along your brother-in-law! Thanks Geoff for that fix on our trip to NY!)

more tips to follow another time.


Love this quote:
"It's never crouded along the extra mile" Dr. Wayne Dyer

nightnight.
deb

That's What I've Heard

When I began Martial Arts training in 1993 I had no expectations. I simply never stopped wanting to 'try' Kung Fu after watching 'Enter The Dragon', staring Bruce Lee in 1973...so I figured the longevity of that desire was an indication that 'just' maybe I should stop procrastinating. I loved it! Everything. The moves, the friendships, the discipline, the fitness, the instructor, the mystique and even the smell of the place....my master burned candles! Not the sweat silly, though there was a lot of that.

I talked about the training whether someone wanted to listen or not. Sorry about that guys. No one was interested in trying it. No one understood why I would possibly want those bruises or be grabbed repeatedly. I can not explain. It made me happy. I had (have) fun. It made me strong both mentally and physically. I felt like I was growing as a person.

Yet, there is something that always bothers me about this journey. What I have heard often:"Why don't you just buy a gun?!" "Why do you spend so much time learning how to hurt people?" "Why do you like that?" Why do you love what you love?

I train because I love the feeling of controlling my body and being able to do things physically that other 46 (in 2 weeks) year olds can't even imagine. I train because it silences my mind more than anything I know. It gifts me a calmness I can not explain. I train because my body loves to train. Get off the couch, your body loves activity-it's your mind that is lazy! I don't know why I love my dads old guitar, I don't know why I love writing, hockey or Yorkshire Terriers, I just do. Nobody has asked me why I love those things. I think that we should do more what we love.

I don't want a gun. Eeks! I've used them. A pellet gun as a kid and other guns when I spent a summer at a military camp. I do not like that kind of power!

I teach Self-Protection because I feel it my purpose to share what I know-I've tried to avoid it many times, but it keeps coming back into my life. "I want to train," I'd say. "I want you to teach," they all said.

For the record, I have no hidden agenda. It's fun.

There are people that hurt others. Avoid them. Every bad relationship comes with a red flag. When yours goes up, don't play like you are colour blind-get out of there!

have a great night.
Remember, Be prepared, NOT paranoid.
deb