Why this blog and why now?
Why, because You are responsible for your safety. You are the only one that will always be with you to protect yourself. Day to day you make your safety decisions.
I was teaching a seminar years ago and a woman asked if I felt she was putting herself in danger by running by herself at 5am. The room of 45 women gasped. "What do you think? It is dark, no one is around and you are by yourself." I suggested running at a different time, finding a group of people to run with at the same time, or getting a BIG dog that could hold that space for her. I thought to myself 'Why did she ask? She had to know it was extremely unsafe'.
This blog is a forum for me, as a woman, to share with other females, 16 years, of Self-Protection experience. Training, teaching and researching. I have extensive Martial Arts experience: Kung Fu, Karate, Grappling, Kickboxing, Boxing, Wing Chun and Commando Krav Maga. Currently, I teach my own creation, Realistic Self Defense For Women. It includes Mental Strategies as well as Physical Tactics. It is not a Martial Art. It is based on natural reactions. Your strengths verses the attackers weaknesses. In Martial Arts women do not learn enough about 'Attack Avoidance' nor do they learn REALISTIC Self Defense. These are the skills that I teach.
That leads me to the 'Why Now?'
Two days ago I was searching for information on a the net and I decided to google women's self-defense to see if my site would come up. When I did that I saw several videos on self-defense for women. It had been a while since I had browsed and I was curious. What I found really upset me. Video after video of techniques that would never work for the average female. It actually turned my stomach to think that someone would teach that stuff and that unsuspecting women would think the techniques would work. I have been challenged by high school girls repeatedly. "I know how to get away from that.", they state. In response I say, "Don't tell me what you are going to do, I'll grab you and you do it to me and we can see if it works." IT never works! The girl is always surprised.
I also had a group of teachers once, question what I was teaching because they had learned something that looked less aggressive then what I taught them to do when fighting for their lives. We tested it the same way and they were SO upset that the techniques they thought would work failed.
In real situations people do not let go, in Martial Arts people learn to let go. Don't get me wrong, I love Martial Arts...but you need to know that Martial Arts is NOT REALISTIC self-defense for women in the majority of cases. Most Martial Arts techniques do not work in a violent situation unless you have practiced for years and have them mastered.
Let me say that I spent years experimenting being grabbed, pinned and choked etc, to discover what I could use realistically to get away from an attacker. I had the bruises to prove the discomfort. (Martial Arts is fun, but don't go to a self-defense class prior to an evening out in short sleeves or you'll have some explaining to do!).
I am 5-8", 145lbs and stronger than average, if I can't make a move work right away, forget it. I always felt a great responsibility to experiment with what I was passing on to my students. This developed as I became more and more skeptical about the techniques I was being taught. A couple of years ago I organized a few different groups of women to volunteer to be 'attacked' by yours truly in full gear. I had them close their eyes until I touched them, then they could open up their eyes and fight back any way they chose. I did not use any Martial Arts moves what-so-ever. With a few exceptions, they could not get away. I did let go quickly when I was bitten on my leg between the padding!! (This women had attended my seminar-that mark was there for 3 months!). What is really frightening is that these women all had various degrees of Martial Arts experience. Their self-defense training did not serve them.
I feel it is time that there is a place to talk Realistically about self-protection.
There are many attack avoidance skills that you can implement to reduce the odds of being a victim and 'some' physical tactics, that you can learn to implement very quickly .
Never Knowingly put yourself at risk!
Have You Ever Felt Unsafe?
Have you ever been some place You probably shouldn't have been?
In seminar after seminar that I facilitate, most women will answer "yes" to these questions. The sad reality is that we are physically, in most cases, the weaker sex. When anger comes to the forefront and a physical confrontation ensues women have a clear disadvantage. We typically weigh less, are smaller in stature, have less muscle mass, run slower, have less strength to grab and release a grab and less fighting experience that could assist in fighting off an attacker.
How bad is violence against women?
In 'The War On Women', Brian Vallee writes, "Compare the raw numbers. In the same seven-year period when 4,588 U.S. soldiers and policemen were killed by hostiles or by accident, more than 8,000 women-nearly twice as many-were shot, stabbed, or beaten to death by the intimate males in their lives. In Canada, compare to the 101 Canadian soldiers and police officers killed, more than 500 women-nearly five times as many-met the same fate." These are frightening numbers and precisely why I tell high school girls that it is easier to not get into a bad relationship than to get out of one..................................
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